A Bitter Taste
by Lucyh95
Summary: Tag to chapter 51. The Captain is already waiting when he arrives at the stables, leaning against the stable door. And Connie salutes, stance resolute. "Sir!" Levi nods in response. "I've already saddled up your horse we're ready to go."
1. Chapter 1

**_A Bitter Taste_**

* * *

The Captain is already waiting when he arrives at the stables, leaning against the stable door. And Connie salutes, stance resolute. "Sir!"

Levi nods in response. "I've already saddled up your horse we're ready to go."

000

It's hard to concentrate, to keep the thoughts at bay. But he tries his best. He tries to focus on the sound of hooves on the ground, on the squeak of leather, on the occasionally snorts of the horses, on the wind whistling through the trees—_anything—_anything but his thoughts that are trying to wander off. Because if he lets them, he isn't entirely sure if he can keep the control. And that isn't an option. _No, _a_bsolutely not_. He only needs a little more time, but then, then he will be able to think straight again. Right? Some more time and he'll be able to think further than—

_Than mom._

His vision clouds for a moment, but he bites it back. _No. No way._

He glances to his right to where the Captain is riding; calm, eyes forward.

000

Connie's struggle is tangible from where he's riding next to him. His face reveals maybe not so much. But Levi doesn't need a facial expression to know—to feel. Grief, anger, confusion. It's all clear as day. Even though, he's really trying to appear calm. The kid just lost his entire family. Possibly all turned into the creatures they fight and struggle against every day. Saying it's a huge shock doesn't even begin to cover it. _Titans are actually humans._ Merely thinking about the fact that he has been flying around for all these years wielding his blades, slicing up human flesh, leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He swallows.

Levi once again glances to the boy next to him. They hadn't talked much beyond a few words. Levi gave him his space; to think, to work through this new piece of information. _To mourn._ Levi sighs inwardly and shifts in his saddle. He's perhaps not the most skilled person when it comes to comforting, others are far better at that shit than him, but that doesn't mean he won't try and lift others up when they fall down. He'll extend his hand and hoist them up. Again and again and again. He'll lend them a little of his strength; to fight, to move forward, to overcome. _He's humanity's strongest, after all._

Humanity's strongest, huh. Who has been slicing up human after human to a bloody mess, for all these years?

_Heh_.

He lifts his eyes up toward the blue sky high above him and swallows again. Trying to get rid of the sour taste that wants to rise up once more.

_Disgusting_.

* * *

I always wondered about the journey of Levi and Connie, back to the cabin, after discovering that titans are actually humans. Poor Connie... :(

What I really love is how Levi manages to help and console others with few words and small gestures. There are so many examples throughout the manga of that! He's one of my favorite characters from AoT (if you hadn't noticed already ahaha). But that's one of the many things I admire about him. *tries not to think about chapter 114 arghhh*

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this short piece! (I've maybe a small idea for a second part).

All the mistakes are mine.


	2. Chapter 2

"You ready to continue?"

A voice pulls him out of his thoughts. Away from the dark voices ringing through his head.

Connie looks up from the piece of untouched bread he had been staring at. The Captain is standing before him, hands on his hips. "Yes, sir." To his surprise, his voice is a little rough. And Connie stands up, but then stumbles, legs suddenly not quite steady. And the world goes a little gray.

"Easy." And a hand clasps warmly over his shoulder. When the world has finally stopped spinning, and he can see again, the Captain is looking up to him, eyes scanning.

Connie swallows. "Sorry, sir. I—" But he's interrupted.

"It's alright. Go sit down." And Connie does. Still feeling slightly lightheaded.

"You should eat something. You need your strength."

His head whips back up. A gaze meets his. With the Captain sitting down, they're on eye level.

"I mean, maybe it tastes like shit right now. But you need to eat."

Connie averts his eyes. He feels somewhat queasy, and the thought of food doesn't really appeal to him at the moment. He actually can't imagine being hungry ever again.

But he knows; the Captain is right. He should eat something. It's been a while since he had breakfast, and tumbling off his horse isn't an option here.

So he swallows down the sour taste in his mouth and takes a bite. To his immense relief, he doesn't throw up.

"Here," Connie looks up. The Captain is holding out a water bottle. He reaches out and takes it. "Thank you, sir." And the Captain nods, eyes scanning him again. Connie averts his gaze once more and eats in silence.

"Feel a little bit better?" And Connie shifts his gaze back to the man sitting across him.

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

A moment of silence follows.

Somewhere behind him, Connie can hear the occasional snorts of the horses.

"Sir?" And Connie hesitates, not really knowing if to continue. But the Captain gestures him to go on.

Do you—do you think we'll ever get the truth? Of why— Why they—

With the words, he feels the bitter anger rising up again at the back of his throat.

Levi shifts, let out a breath and leans forward, hands clasping between his knees.

"I honestly don't know. Every time we think we are a step closer, another question rises up, another obstacle gets in our way. There are people out there who really want to keep us in the dark about this whole mess. But that's how it always has been, hasn't it?

Connie's shoulders slump a little.

"So we fight back. We keep going, we push forward, step after step."

After a moment, Connie nods tightly.

And not for the first time, Levi wishes he could do something more. Say something different.

_Rip this damn truth out of whoever was responsible for this all._

But it wouldn't be that easy. Nothing was that easy.

He moves his gaze up to the sky for a moment.

_I want to know, too. Why it is that I have sliced up human after human. Year after year. Without even knowing. Staining my hands with their blood._

Then he moves his gaze back to the boy sitting across him. Connie's face has a little more color now. "You're ready to continue?"

And Connie nods. Feeling a little more steady.

"Yeah, I'm ready, sir.

"Good. Let us go then."

* * *

I hope you also enjoyed this second part. :)

All the mistakes are mine.


End file.
